A Textbook Case of Digression.
The radius of an atom is of the order of a few angstroms (1 angstrom = a billionth part of 10cms). Saying that it is of the order of a few angstroms doesn’t really give a good picture of how small an atom really is. To get around problems such as these, where in the reader is to be familiarized about a subject with particular emphasis on certain selected traits of the same, a figure of speech called ‘simile’ has been successfully employed by many, and unsuccessfully employed by many more, authors. A simile is an effort saving device that works by striking the human brain with sudden surprise, forcing it to stall, stutter and reexamine the worthiness of language as a means of communication. Here are a few similes that totally defy logic and appeal to those vestigial parts of our brains that we have as-is inherited from our primate ancestors (which reason and science dictate to be almost all the parts of our brains), parts which are believed to have helped them to have indulged in activities that have off late come to be known as creative pursuits. I’ll start with the one that left me inactive for the better part of two minutes, which ironically, also happens to be the one I like the most (of the sixteen that I looked up on wikipedia).
“Death lies on her, like an untimely frost”
— William Shakesphere
[Dear Mr. Shakesphere, I wish you told me how you came up with shit like that. I also wish you translated it all into English before dying.]
“Woo the moon like the tide”
— Vladimir Mayakovsky
[Dear Mr. Mayakovsky, I understand that you were busy with the Russian revolution and all. Nevertheless, I feel obliged to inform you that two hundred years before you were born, a particular gentleman of the name of Isaac Newton deduced that it is the moon that woos the tide (and not the other way around) after being bonked on the head by an apple.]
“Jubilant as a flag unfurled”
— Dorothy Parker
[Dear Ms. Parker, I wish you took time out of your writing to do some basic reading. Please understand
that flags - are nothing but dyed fabric and are incapable of feelings … even when unfurled.]
“A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle”
– Irina Dunn
[Dear Ms. Dunn, I see that you are not normal. I do agree with you on that ‘women are like fishes’ thingie. In fact, the last time I checked, some people had succeeded in not just crossing them but also in getting their offspring to star in a movie. I think you’d enjoy watching it more than whom it was intended for.]
I am so inspired right now by this Dunn lady that I think I’ll make a simile or two myself. Brace yourself!
“Death lies on her, like an untimely frost”
— William Shakesphere
[Dear Mr. Shakesphere, I wish you told me how you came up with shit like that. I also wish you translated it all into English before dying.]
“Woo the moon like the tide”
— Vladimir Mayakovsky
[Dear Mr. Mayakovsky, I understand that you were busy with the Russian revolution and all. Nevertheless, I feel obliged to inform you that two hundred years before you were born, a particular gentleman of the name of Isaac Newton deduced that it is the moon that woos the tide (and not the other way around) after being bonked on the head by an apple.]
“Jubilant as a flag unfurled”
— Dorothy Parker
[Dear Ms. Parker, I wish you took time out of your writing to do some basic reading. Please understand
that flags - are nothing but dyed fabric and are incapable of feelings … even when unfurled.]“A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle”
– Irina Dunn
[Dear Ms. Dunn, I see that you are not normal. I do agree with you on that ‘women are like fishes’ thingie. In fact, the last time I checked, some people had succeeded in not just crossing them but also in getting their offspring to star in a movie. I think you’d enjoy watching it more than whom it was intended for.]
I am so inspired right now by this Dunn lady that I think I’ll make a simile or two myself. Brace yourself!
“A woman like a fish without a man is like a bicycle”
- m8al
“A bicycle without a woman is like a fish without a man”
- m8al
OK. There is no way I can continue this post with any pretensions of seriousness. So I think I’ll postpone it for the time being and rename this from “My take on life Part 2: More Infinitesimals” to well … whatever is written up there. By the way I’ve often observed that when I am tickled to the extent of laughter, few join me in it. Most of the few are people diagnosed with abnormal psychological conditions. So, if you find this senseless mockery of humanity’s greats anywhere close to funny please use a defibrillator on your wet temples immediately and call the closest asylum for assistance.
